The sleepless nights, unexpected fevers, and meltdowns are things parents know all too well. The title is true. Parenting is tough. It wears on you physically and emotionally everyday of your life. It is clear why God makes babies so cute! When it’s 4:00am and your little one has decided to stay awake to play peek-a-boo, their smile warms your heart. If anyone else wanted to play a game at 4:00am, you would most likely ask them to leave.
Every day, I think about how much joy my girls bring into my life. From the silly faces, crafts, painting nails and story time, there is never a dull moment.
Babies and children must have supervision at all times in order to survive. The problem I see is that once a child learns to drive or is eligible to get a job, parents have a tendency to believe their child can make their own decisions. I have heard mothers say, “I don’t want my daughter to miss out on anything," or, "I am excited for her to start dating.” Clearly, moms need to get a clue and dads need to stand up and be fathers.
At twenty-nine years old, I look at my life and think about all the intense conversations I had with my parents. I never even spent the night with a friend who had a brother, because we know what teenage boys have on their minds. My parents went the extra mile to protect me. I also didn’t go on dates just because the cute guy in class asked for my number. Humans were actually created to be able to say that one powerful word: NO!
Of course there were times I was aggravated with my parents. At 20 years old, there was something in my head that made me believe I knew everything I needed to know about dating and relationships although I had not been in one. My dad would call just to make sure I knew my good guy friend was interested in me and for me to be cautious. It could have seemed like my dad was intruding in my life and I was grown enough to make my own decisions. However, I look back at those phone calls and conversations that brought tears to my eyes over major life decisions and I am thankful for a mom and dad who continued being parents - even after I left their home. They have saved me from heartache, rape, depression, anxiety. The list goes on. I never questioned the love my parents had for me. I knew if they didn’t love me they wouldn’t care to approach me about such huge milestones in my life.
Now, I am happily married with two beautiful girls and life just keeps getting better. I look back at all the different directions I could have gone and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in life. Yes, I could use some extra sleep and a maid would be nice. But I know these years are flying by and I must keep my stamina for the conversations and years ahead with my children. Parenting a child in their twenties seems much more complicated to me than snuggling my 4 year old and 7 month old.
Dads, until you place your daughter's hand into the hand of another man in marriage, you must stand up for her and protect her. She may yell at you today and think you are the bad guy. But one day she will look back and thank you for where she is in life. Moms, don't worry about being your child's best friend. That may happen one day. Love is not tolerance. And tolerance isn't love. Your kids need your love.